>From Death to Life

>My wife and I have great conversations on I-20. It happens because it is one of the few times we have uninterrupted moments to talk. It is through those uninterrupted times we will finally get to conversations beyond managing life to the deeper desires and dreams we have for our lives.

On our recent return trip, I broached a topic that I had wanted to talk about for a while. I knew it would not be easy but I also knew it would be well worth it after the fact. It centered on my desire to go back to school to pursue a doctorate.

She knew this was a desire I have had from other conversations. As I got into the conversation I remembered praying to God that He would let it go well. It went great! But it did not go the way I wanted. Through tears, a dream I had died.

It did not die because of lack of support or understanding. It died because, as my wife does so well in my life, truth came into focus. My dream was about chasing prestige and approval rather than anything else. It was painful to let go. It had been my little god for a while. But it was time to face the fact that it needed to be put to death. It did not die easily. It had been my focus and the object of my affection. But in the light of truth, the simplicity of its idolatry came to light.

God did not just remove the idol but replaced it with something better. The more we talked, the more I began to get a clearer picture of how giftedness, desire, and dreams might come together. It did not smooth away all the pain but it helped to provide hope and clarity to the process. It will be fun to see this new dream find its expression.

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